He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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