let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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