Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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