I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?