It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
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I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.