he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
