I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize