Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
