This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry