i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon