Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever