Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
