You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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