she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?