New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"