How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet