Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So squirting runs in the family.
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
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It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.