oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
