This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
