I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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