I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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