I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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