This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
