my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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