Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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