Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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