Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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