D3 body, D1 cock
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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