i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
