sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dicks are not precious.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
