My brain says no but my pants say off.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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