her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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