i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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