I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize