There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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