Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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