Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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