you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So many bounce houses so little time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
