when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Boobs are out for the taking
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
