Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (2079) Bad night (816)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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  (859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr
  Replies (66) Good night (1497) Bad night (24501)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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  (412): I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed http://tfl.nu/d0u5
  Replies (55) Good night (928) Bad night (3502)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
  Replies (52) Good night (1199) Bad night (6187)
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  (209): View more from California

  His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.

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  (209): His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants. http://tfl.nu/6g5r
  Replies (15) Good night (1230) Bad night (6647)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high

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  (607): Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high http://tfl.nu/24mk
  Replies (11) Good night (5125) Bad night (1406)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Green mimosas i think yes

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  (502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u
  Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (1044)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.

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  (281): Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'. http://tfl.nu/zfmg
  Replies (15) Good night (1430) Bad night (683)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?

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  (208): I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off? http://tfl.nu/5ghu
  Replies (3) Good night (1529) Bad night (518)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch

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  (216): Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch http://tfl.nu/pevt
  Replies (6) Good night (1452) Bad night (449)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.

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  (443): Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos. http://tfl.nu/iwo5
  Replies (8) Good night (1753) Bad night (458)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?

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  (513): I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!? http://tfl.nu/9z50
  Replies (14) Good night (842) Bad night (372)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.

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  (561): Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever. http://tfl.nu/yda1
  Replies (0) Good night (807) Bad night (318)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

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  (402): sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/dm9v
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (659)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is

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  (704): I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/xljt
  Replies (9) Good night (588) Bad night (297)

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