Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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