I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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