Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.