Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals

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  (908): You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals http://tfl.nu/anmw
  Replies (13) Good night (1360) Bad night (936)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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  (479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57
  Replies (13) Good night (669) Bad night (3115)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so he'll probably take me somewhere nice

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  (508): well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth (508): so he'll probably take me somewhere nice http://tfl.nu/ldxj
  Replies (80) Good night (2808) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

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  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (18371) Bad night (1154)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...

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  (617): she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her... http://tfl.nu/azzw
  Replies (21) Good night (5155) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

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  (678): just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game. http://tfl.nu/2q8s
  Replies (12) Good night (2899) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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  (309): Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around.. http://tfl.nu/cqm4
  Replies (4) Good night (2598) Bad night (1021)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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  (269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.

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  (856): After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/r983
  Replies (0) Good night (1746) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

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  (816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4
  Replies (9) Good night (1910) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (901) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.

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  (337): I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working. http://tfl.nu/wijm
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest

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  (201): I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest http://tfl.nu/yr20
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird

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  (518): Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird http://tfl.nu/877o
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (220)

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