Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
