I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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