im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
