if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
