i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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