and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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