So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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