just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize