i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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