I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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