sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
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we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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