Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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