So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Mom said you looked used
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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