FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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