if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize