Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult