just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence