apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?